It was a clear day as we attempted to go up the road to Glacier point but the traffic was so heavy the rangers were stopping cars so we went to the valley instead. Later in the afternoon the cars cleared and we started to Sentinel Dome, our intended destination. As we went from 4,000 to 5,000 to 8,000 feet, the air became heavier and foggier. When we parked, the trail was only visible a few feet. We started walking the two mile trail into denser fog.
It has been years since I hiked so going up a wet surface was tough.
I was carrying Gary's ashes in a box in my backpack. I found them to be heavy. The feeling of the weight kept throwing off my balance. I told myself to suck it up and keep going. The weight was symbolic of the many years I "carried" him when he had Dementia. I told myself that nothing was different.
Then, I remembered meeting with a clairvoyant in January after he died. She told me that I have problems asking people for help and that I need to start practicing asking people to "carry my baggage" even if I didn't need it. Wow, I had no idea at the time that I would later refer to that event when carrying my husband's ashes to their final site. I asked our friend Michael if he would carry the backpack and he gladly took them and carried them to the top.
I was very tired by the time we reached the top. We found a perfect spot under a tree to spread the ashes. It was a single trunk with two branches spreading apart. Again, the symbolism was incredible.
We all got quiet and I said a heartfelt prayer and gave Gary back to God. I cried as I spread the ashes into the plants below the tree.
Gary would have been pleased with the location. Mike and I hugged and cried. We will miss Gary greatly....especially when visiting such magical places that he loved so much. It was a life well-lived.
I thank God for giving him to me for 32 years. I hope that all families who lose someone to such a horrible disease can feel the peace we felt on that mountain. God bless you all.
