Monday, May 15, 2017
"That is the good stuff."
Most of my visits to Gary, unless very well timed are spent watching him sleep...or so he acts.....I think sometimes he is wide awake with his eyes closed.
I try to get to him at mealtime so I can feed him and he usually opens his eyes. On Saturday, I was feeding him Broccoli soup and he whispered something. In the past, once he says a thought, it does not get repeated. This time I put my ear to his mouth and asked him what he said. He quietly whispered "That is the good stuff." That is a phrase he used for years when he liked something. Just as quickly, he slipped back to wherever he stays now in his mind. He finished all his food. He usually does. He is still swallowing.
Sunday was Mother's Day so I knew there would be lots of activity at "The Happy Place". When I walked in one of the caregivers pointed me in his direction. He was sitting in a different place than normal. He was in the quiet room, covered in a blanket sound asleep. (See above picture). I sat with him and held his hand for about 20 minutes and it was time for lunch. We placed him in position at his table with Martha and Nancy.
Martha was holding a doll while she ate her lunch. I watched her scoop up applesauce and give the baby a bite and then took a bite herself. The doll's mouth soon filled with applesauce. One of the caregivers noticed and with no emotion or excitement told Martha, " Martha, the baby is full. Let me put her in the crib and feed her a bottle. Its time for you to eat yourself. You are a very good mother." This act of kindness choked me though the whole situation was somewhat funny.
Nancy was also holding a doll but is unable to feed herself so I guess her baby would go hungry that day. Instead, she reached over and tried to pick up Gary's sandwich. I discouraged her and distracted her with the doll while I fed Gary.
I know that I loved the man who was. My close friends think that I will "lose it" when he dies. I guess we will find out soon enough. I hope they are all wrong.
Here is a shot of Gary when he was still clear.