Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Would you hand me the phone so I can call my wife?

Its been weeks since I've written a blog...mostly due to moving activities like packing, changing addresses (forwarding etc), notifying two sets of utilities, scheduling installs (cable, sound system, etc.), managing movers, unpacking and staying sane during it all.

Our friend Michael picked up Gary on Sunday afternoon before the move on Tuesday and brought him home Wednesday afternoon. Thank God for old friends.  Well, they may never do it again, but they saved us this time.  Apparently Gary: ate like a pig; got very little sleep; asked them every two hours at night "Where is Ada?"; and tagged along wherever Mike needed to go.  Gary required they repack his suitcase several times so Mike could take him to the airport.  Keep in mind, it is a 2 hour drive and there was no airplane involved in any of the trip. 

On the way home, Gary called me from his cell phone several times.  Of  course, he left it in Mike's car and we did not realize it until the next day.  I found Mike's glasses among our belonging scattered on our bar.  So, I sent him an email asking if I could trade his glasses for Gary's cell phone, bathrobe and whatever else he left behind.  We had a good laugh.

Moving without Gary went smoothly as I only had to answer questions of the movers.  Getting all the crap we own into place on this end is another whole story.  When the movers had many of our belonging staged in the driveway to go into the truck, we all took a break.  I sat there and felt so guilty.  After being in Haiti in 2010 and many other places in the world where people have nothing or little to nothing, I realized how blessed and absolutely uncalled for it is for us to have so much.  It is pure out American greed and I need to dispose of things. 

I have lost my temper several times this last week but am holding my own.  Gary is trying SO HARD to help. 

We have had a few mishaps but the greatest story started on Friday night when he became confused about our older phone numbers, old phone numbers and new phone numbers.  He swore that he need to call his wife at 686-8458 which is the number we had for six years but changed about a year ago.  Then he decided to call her at 686-0304 until she answered.  This whole time I tried to convince him that I was his wife of 29 years and that I was right beside him.  He said that he had been married to someone else for 17 years and that he and I had recently reunited.  One minute he knew me as Ada and the next, he didn't.  I got very angry, then hurt and then sort of accepting.  He was combative so I called Mike to have him tell Gary who I was and then when he failed, I tried Heather.  He pacified them by agreeing but started again the next morning. He did this off and on all day.  Pastor told Gary on Sunday who I am and my relationship with him. Since he knew that Jerry would not lie to him...all is well.

He has spent the last two days watching the events in Ferguson Missouri on the television, helping me and sitting in the massage chair.  I give on any long term help with the house.  He is good for about 20 minutes and he is off chasing a shiny object. 

I am blessed to have a husband who does love me.  I fixed a great dinner tonight and looked at me with love and said thank you.  He kissed me and said that I'm his best wife ever. 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Never found the phone.....

The last few weeks have been days of intense expressions of love, anger, confusion and move preparation. Only 9 more days separate today and moving to our new location.  I'm very excited and Gary is also....at least when he remembers that we are moving.  Its very hard to grasp that he can sit in our houses with boxes EVERYWHERE and not remember that we are moving....but he does.
I haven't written in a while, but I would like to revisit the days following Halloween. As you know, Gary lost his wallet, house keys and Galaxy 3 phone.  I stopped the phone service and cancelled credit cards the following day and waited until Monday when the CLUB opened again.  Upon arrival at the CLUB on Monday, I was greeted by the Director and spoke with several of the volunteers.  NO WALLET.  NO PHONE...ugh.

One of the staffers indicated that Gary was having difficulty with his belongings and his costume, so they had put his wallet and keys into a brown bag that also contained his candy and Halloween treats.  My first thoughts were not pleasant.  How could they expect him to keep up with a brown paper bag with which he is not familiar?  I just couldn't believe what I had to go through as a result.

(Later, I realized they only meant well....I really should lighten up.)

Anyway, there was no paper bag to be found at the house.  I tore the whole house apart......I gave up.  The next day, when I came home, his wallet was lying on the counter next to his keys and Halloween candy.  No paper bag. No recollection of the "loss" or the find.  I was elated and frustrated.  The telephone was never found.  The deductible on the insurance was $150.  New phone arrived and is set up.  I made the choice for him to continue to have a phone.....just in case.

Over the weekend, we continued packing the "last minute" stuff.  I was downstairs putting clothes in the washer and heard what sounded like pounding coming from upstairs.  I went up the steps to find Gary on the floor next to his computer, frantically unplugging all the peripherals attached to it.  I yelled, "what are you doing?"

He responded that the computer was making a very loud clacking noise and it scared him to so he unplugged it.  I was furious. It was just one more thing that he had done that day that put me over the edge.  I screamed, yelled, cried and threw a magic marker at him.  He was not hurt but was upset because he didn't know what he had done wrong.  I had planned on shutting down the computer next week, properly labeling all peripherals and packing the computer then.....nothing was going my way.

I thought my chest was going to explode.  I told him to take the dog for a walk and leave me alone so I could calm down.  I cried on the bed...heaved is more like it.  Then, I realized how stupid I was being and prayed for forgiveness.  I prayed to not get angry.  I prayed for ability to bite my tongue and better understand his disability.  (Pastor spoke only to me in church this morning).

I felt an instant peace.  God granted me the peace I was requesting and I had a wonderful, deep nap.  I arose to spend an hour putting the computer back together.  He had unplugged the speakers, printer, and network cable.  I reconnected all but the sound....its only a week and I probably won't need it. 

We had a wonderful evening and a great day at church.  The rest of the day was spent packing, hugging alot and eating mystery food out of the freezer.  The smoothies and coffee pot are ready for morning.....Gary is enjoying his time in the massage chair.  Diva is running around the house chasing a fly.  I am trying to relax a little before bedtime.  I can't wait til this move is over and things are put away in the new house. 

Please pray that Gary will find the move smooth and not get too upset.