Heather and her family were to be in town on Thursday....that went well.
Dad was supposed to get here from Virginia on Friday night at 9:05 p.m. I had it all planned out. Pastor Jerry and Vonna were having a Christmas get-together at their home in Elk Grove (south about 12 miles) from 7 - 9. The plan was that Heather and the kids would take one car and Gary and I would drive seperately and then I would leave early and head for the airport (about 25 miles from there - North). Saturday was to include a special breakfast, tree trimming and Christmas Dinner with my Dad. That is not exactly what happened.
First off, my Dad called to say he had missed his second plane due to engine issues and was spending the night in Washington D.C. So, no special dinner with my Dad and the kids had to leave on Sunday after church....ok, adjust.
So, we still had to take two cars to the lovely party. It was pouring rain but we got there and back safely. We came into the house and I drove NOWHERE until it was time to leave to go to the airport.
Saturday morning, somehow, I misjudged the fixins for the gravy. With my Dad missing, somehow I thought I had enough sausage for the gravy. Wrong. Note to self, do not use left over taco meat to replace missing sausage.
We decorated the tree and it turned out beautifully. I fixed Christmas dinner and all seemed happy.
It was time to go pick up Dad.I could not find my car keys which I always keep in the same purse pocket. I had about ten minutes before I needed to leave. Since we moved, I have been carrying important documents, keys, etc in my purse so nothing would get lost. I'll just use my extra key and find the main set which includes my house key and only mailbox key. The spare was not in my purse.
Heather said not to worry but to take her car. I responded that was a good idea but I still needed to find the keys. I could not blame Gary because I was the one with the keys. Oh my gosh, am I losing it now, too?
We started retracing my steps and after a few minutes I got really upset and decided to leave. After dumping out my purse, twice....I was pretty freaky. I am used to Gary losing things but two sets of keys?
I took the Prius and headed for the airport. They continued to look as I calmed down to drive and think. I remembered that the night before when we got home, I had handed the keys to Gary to open the house while I waited for the kids to come in through the garage. Yep, he was involved after all. I told them to look around all Gary's belongings like his jacket, pockets, etc.
Dad arrived safely and we headed toward home. I rethought the night before and decided that the one set of keys had to be in the house.....i just needed to think.
When i arrived home, Heather asked if I had a hole in my purse. We tore it apart and BINGO, there was the back up key. So, now to find the main key.
I remembered all the clothes that Gary was wearing. He had one his black jacket, black jeans, black wallet, etc. I went into the bedroom despite the fact the kids had searched there. I went straight to the bench at the end of our bed to look for his black shoes. Perched precariously in his shoe was my key ring, keys and were covered by a pair of sweat pants. An easy miss.
Wow, what a relief. I had already figured out how to rent a car on Sunday, go to the Benz dealership on Monday and apply for a replacement mail box key. What a fiasco.
Right now, I am trying to write this blog. I have been writing for quite some time now. Dad is sitting on one side of me on the sofa and Gary is on the other. Not exactly pristine writing conditions. Sorry for the abrupt end but I just can't finish my thoughts.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Confusion: Wife versus daughter
Gary and I had plans to attend the Rancho Cordova Christmas Tree Lighting event on Sunday evening. Since we are so close, we decided to walk. So, since it was chilly outside, we bundled up. I made sure Gary had his phone and I carried mine....just in case.
Right before we left Gary asked if he should call Ada and tell her to meet us at the park. I told him that I am Ada. He looked at me with a rather funny, inquisitive look and said, "I know you are Ada but I'm talking about my wife, Ada Mae." I knew I was fighting a losing battle but attempted to explain who I was, repeating that we have been married 29 years and that we have never been separated. I thought we were experiencing the confusion from last week when he thought I was his new wife. No, he thought I am his daughter, Heather but named Ada for now....
As we walked the .7 mile to the park, Gary pulled out his cell phone and called my cell phone, so I answered. He got angry that I was answering Ada's cell phone. After multiple attempts to reach "her", I decided to let the phone go to voicemail. He left her an extensive message telling her that we would meet her at the Christmas Tree lighting and that once we got there, he would call her back and tell her where to meet us.
At this point, I just accepted his confusion and tried not to feel anything. During the mini-concert and throughout the event, he could not understand why Ada was not calling him. I repeatedly explained that I was indeed Ada and I was not going to call him back since I was sitting next to him. He wasn't getting it.
The tree was lit and the snow and whole event was wonderful. We proceeded to walk home. It was very cold and then I realized that he had left his gloves somewhere....another loss. And those were his good gloves. (Note to self: don't buy anything expensive for him...its a waste of money)
We got home and fixed dinner. The confusion went on for over an hour and he kept calling me Ada but thinking I was Heather (only named Ada). I got fed up and went into the office to work on the computer. He called on the cell and I answered. He asked where I had been and why I had not come to the tree lighting. (he was in the other room and could not see me). I explained that I was in our office and he needed to come in and see me. He did, saw me on the phone and realized who I was. He went back into the den and announced that his daughter had left.
I again tried to explain and ended up calling Heather. She told him that she had been home all day and had not been here. He sort of got it but spent the rest of the evening telling me about the tree lighting and what a good time they had.
The next morning, he was fine. I told him that it hurt my feelings but that I understand that he cannot help it. He hugged me, apologized and we took him to the CLUB. He had a great day.
Santa visited the CLUB and Gary told him that he wanted a 40ft sailboat for Christmas. As a good friend said, "After all, a 60 footer is just too much to handle."
Maybe I'm a little slow, but I am starting to realize that spending time trying to convince him of reality or trying to get him to act differently or have things make sense is just frustrating both of us. I just need to let go and relax. Yes, that is what I will practice....yes, that is a good solution for now.
Guess I better start shopping for the yacht.
Right before we left Gary asked if he should call Ada and tell her to meet us at the park. I told him that I am Ada. He looked at me with a rather funny, inquisitive look and said, "I know you are Ada but I'm talking about my wife, Ada Mae." I knew I was fighting a losing battle but attempted to explain who I was, repeating that we have been married 29 years and that we have never been separated. I thought we were experiencing the confusion from last week when he thought I was his new wife. No, he thought I am his daughter, Heather but named Ada for now....
As we walked the .7 mile to the park, Gary pulled out his cell phone and called my cell phone, so I answered. He got angry that I was answering Ada's cell phone. After multiple attempts to reach "her", I decided to let the phone go to voicemail. He left her an extensive message telling her that we would meet her at the Christmas Tree lighting and that once we got there, he would call her back and tell her where to meet us.
At this point, I just accepted his confusion and tried not to feel anything. During the mini-concert and throughout the event, he could not understand why Ada was not calling him. I repeatedly explained that I was indeed Ada and I was not going to call him back since I was sitting next to him. He wasn't getting it.
The tree was lit and the snow and whole event was wonderful. We proceeded to walk home. It was very cold and then I realized that he had left his gloves somewhere....another loss. And those were his good gloves. (Note to self: don't buy anything expensive for him...its a waste of money)
We got home and fixed dinner. The confusion went on for over an hour and he kept calling me Ada but thinking I was Heather (only named Ada). I got fed up and went into the office to work on the computer. He called on the cell and I answered. He asked where I had been and why I had not come to the tree lighting. (he was in the other room and could not see me). I explained that I was in our office and he needed to come in and see me. He did, saw me on the phone and realized who I was. He went back into the den and announced that his daughter had left.
I again tried to explain and ended up calling Heather. She told him that she had been home all day and had not been here. He sort of got it but spent the rest of the evening telling me about the tree lighting and what a good time they had.
The next morning, he was fine. I told him that it hurt my feelings but that I understand that he cannot help it. He hugged me, apologized and we took him to the CLUB. He had a great day.
Santa visited the CLUB and Gary told him that he wanted a 40ft sailboat for Christmas. As a good friend said, "After all, a 60 footer is just too much to handle."
Maybe I'm a little slow, but I am starting to realize that spending time trying to convince him of reality or trying to get him to act differently or have things make sense is just frustrating both of us. I just need to let go and relax. Yes, that is what I will practice....yes, that is a good solution for now.
Guess I better start shopping for the yacht.
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