Gary on Mission in Haiti -pre-dementia

In 2010, Gary and I went with a group from our church to Haiti to serve those devastated by the earthquake.  Well, devastated financially and many died...but many of those people are the strongest Christians we have ever met. 

One night, there was a terrible thunderstorm with lighting strikes and torrential rain....which meant more mudslides to a land already ravaged. Other than a hurricane, it was the worst storm I've ever endured.  We could hear the artisans singing hymns and praising God.  Wow!

Gary's job during the trip was to find people who needed tents and tarps and carefully distribute what we had to the most needy and deserving.  Seemed easy?  No way.  Everyone either had a tent that was 5 months old and falling apart from sun destruction or still in good shape but wanted a tent/tarp they could trade for food or supplies.  As a group, we decided that only the neediest would get the 1600 pounds of supplies we carried to Haiti.

destruction everywhere - live poiwer lines down

The first couple of days, Gary scoured the neighborhoods (tent cities).  He did not speak the language....a sitting target.  A few days in, he got an interpreter who knew most everyone and was able to help.

One lady was particularly interesting.  She had a VERY LARGE tent but the tent flap had deteriorated.  She tried to convince Gary that she needed a new tent, half the size of what she had.  We knew she wanted to trade it.  That was not the deal. Through the interpreter, he tried to tell her that he could rig a new pole and make the new tarp work perfectly to give the family protection from rain.  While arguing.....Shelley, a missionary for whom we were there to help, walked by and started talking to the woman.  Gary asked what we should do.  Shelley said to us in English, "Sometimes you have to decide if you want to help a selfish person."

That was a reality check for us.  We told the woman to choose the tarp or nothing.....she thought we were bluffing and refused the tarp.  We walked away.  

The next day, we walked past her tent and she stopped us and decided the tarp was not such a bad idea.  Gary assisted her in rigging the tarp and she had a great tent with weather protection.  She agreed to pose for a picture.  She had learned a lesson....it was sad she had to learn one.



Gary felt very accomplished and happy.   In the 28 years I've known him, that was probably one of his proudest moments.  That man is still alive and well, he is just in the early stages of dementia.  He still needs to feel accomplished and wants to feel important.  I am having trouble finding what will provide that for him.  He still thinks he can go to a hospital and get a job because he was an ER tech in the army 43 years ago.  We will keep trying to find something to occupy his time, but unfortunately, nothing compares to tarp-giving. 

Today, we looked at a 55+ community.  Seems perfect...for him.  The houses available are SO SMALL.  We need to downsize but that is a bit much for now.
Not sure which direction to go. 

We go to the psychiatrist tomorrow....will see how we are doing.....

Adventures have been a large part of our lives....we started at Stoney Creek resort in 1985 and have traveled, off and on since.

One thing about Gary is that he was, and still is a thrill seeker. For example, when we discovered that the world did not blow up or shut down after Y2K, he decided we needed to find a retirement destination. We did.  In Panama. We built a 4300 square foot house on the 9th fairway of a beautiful golf course, in a valley, that is just sitting and waiting on us.  Its nicer than the home we live in....Can't afford to quit my job and move there.

We have been there several times. Twice when buying the lot and building and once since it was finished. 

 

This is us around 2003 on the Los Quetzales trail which is near the house in Panama.  You can hike for hours and not see anyone.  However, every view has clouds and a glimpse or full view of the Volcano.  Beauty is everywhere.

While we were building once we did a tour of Panama City and the Panama Canal via helicopter.  We have a video somewhere....here is Gary outside the chopper.  It was a blast.

Gary and I always like hiking when we go to foreign lands....here is hike outside Boquete on the way to a beautiful waterfall.  It stormed that day and we ended up taking refuge in a bus stop (three cement walls) in the woods until the rain stopped.

Then, as always, Gary was ready for a new adventure.

 

This is a different adventure in the West Indies in the rain forest at St. Lucia.  We stayed there for seven days in two different resorts and in both places, we were the only guests.  It pays to travel off season.  This was a dreadfully humid hike but the photo opportunity was priceless.

Here we are all "cleaned up" after the hike.  The two Pitons in the background were not a hike we took that trip.  Never will. After those seven days, we took a Windjammer Pirate Cruise through the West Indies with a bunch of crazy people.

Here is Gary dressed as Captain Fluke. We lost the sailboat building contest.  We could not use any money and had to gather supplies to build the boat from things we found on an island.  Not too bad a boat for trash.



 

Oh yes, and then there was the 10 day packing trip in the high Sierras. 

We prepared for five months, hiking everyday.  This is our picture the day we left...l was carrying 75 pounds of gear.  It was a trip for a different blog.

 

So, why am I posting all this?  I can't imagine doing these adventures now as I would have to plan, execute and manage every detail.  Its different with two doing it.  Gary can't handle it anymore. I think our adventures like these are over.

 

 

Perhaps the future adventures will look more like these:

 

relaxing on a remote beach....

Sitting next to a tree in Monterrey California

Spending time with the kids...

These types of adventures are more do-able....that is ok with me. 

 

Gary had a very difficult afternoon....high anxiety.  Lots of downer teas and herbs and a hot bath seemed to have done the trick.  We are sitting in bed and he is still exhaling and releasing stress.  I can't stand it much more.  I need something for me.