Wednesday, February 11, 2015

"Where is my deodorant?"

I have said to my Management Team on numerous occasions, "I don't know how you guys with kids do it in the morning!"  I didn't realize until this week that they didn't necessarily know what I was referencing until Erica and had a more specific chat.

A typical morning for Gary and I goes like this:

We wake and I usually head toward the kitchen to make coffee and smoothies and put out all medicine, vitamins and potions for the day.  Gary's lunch pills have to be put in a plastic mini-bag so the volunteers at the CLUB can administer them.  I give him his morning pills and treatments to ensure he gets them all.  While Gary has his coffee, I shower and start getting ready.  I usually remind him several times that he needs to get in the shower. 

He always prepares his clean underwear to bring in the bathroom prior to showering.  "I need a pair of underwear, where is it?"

"Its in the drawer marked 'underwear' in the highboy."
He often does this two or three times prior to eventually getting in the shower.  While he is in the shower, I usually replace the extra pairs and put them in the drawer.

When he does get in the shower, it is usually a 15 to 20 minute adventure.  He often washes his hair three or four times, washes his body many times and reapplies matter what guidance I give him.  He is very head-strong and usually does not listen to me whether I am nice or forceful.  

Next, we go through the deodorant, shave cream and razor search.  All his belongings are on the left side of the bathroom either centered around the sink, in a shave mug or in his drawer. 

"Honey, where is my deodorant?"
"Its in the far left hand drawer where it is everyday." A very sweet "thanks" usually follows while he applies his first application.  Soon after, he asks if he needs to shave.  I usually say yes and he asks, "Where is my razor?" 
"In your shave mug on the back of the sink." 
"Where is the shave cream?" 
"Same Place, in the shave mug on the back of the sink."

After shaving, he usually asks where his deodorant is kept.  Even with a reminder that he has already used it, he reapplies. 

"Where is my comb?"
"Left hand drawer, next to your deodorant."  I often show him in addition to telling him and with each repeat I get more animated. 
"Do I need to shave?"
"You already did." 
"Oh?  How did I do?"
"Let me see, did you remember the left side of your neck?  You always forget that side." 
"Check me. "  I usually re-shave that side.  Perhaps the lighting on that side is not good.
"Honey, where is my deodorant?"

Sometime during all that, I pick out his clothes including t-shirt, socks, pants, shirt and shoes.  I put them on the end of the bed where he can see them when he comes out of the bathroom. Most days he asks "Where are my clothes?"
"On the end of the bed." 
"Where are my shoes?"
"On the floor at the end of the bed."
"Did I use deodorant?'

During each of these interludes, I had to speed him along as much as possible due to his pace.  In the middle of each of these above scenarios, he is folding tissues, stacking the change out of his pockets, folding and refolding the towels, brushing his teeth, drinking coffee, etc.  The process is long.

Once dressed, we take inventory of what goes in his pockets. Combs (multiple).  Wallet, cell phone, tissues (lots of tissues), house key, pill packet and more tissues.

Out the door.  In the car.  "Please buckle your seat belt."
"Drink your smoothie." 
"why didn't you turn left back there?"
"Because we go straight to go to the CLUB."
"No we don't."
"Honey, I know where to go.  I take your everyday."
"Where are you taking me today?"
"To the Club."
"Okay. How are is it?"
"Less than five minutes."
"That's not right.  It takes much longer."
"No dear, we moved to Rancho Cordova so it only takes a few minutes now."

I drop him off, kiss him good bye and watch him until he is inside the buzzer door with a volunteer.  He is always greeted with hugs and matter how stressed he is, when he hits that door, he is fine.  Then, I go to work. I almost always feel frazzled, stressed and worn out.

My next writing will focus on a day this week when he was clear. 

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