Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The Case of the Haunted Jacuzzi

My cell phone rang late in the day.  I saw Heather's picture and knew something was wrong as she only calls me in an emergency....or something REALLY strange.  I'll give you one guess which case this was....right, REALLY strange.

Heather:  "Do you have a Jacuzzi tub in your bathroom? How do I turn it off? Dad turned it on somehow and I can't turn it off.  It sounds like a truck idling from downstairs but I came to check on Dad and it is the tub!  In the background I could hear Gary going on about some totally different subject.  While humorous, I had to focus.

I asked several questions, like did you turn off the button?  There was only  a knob sticking up and that didn't work.  She texted me a picture of what looked more like an air duct usually found on the side of the tub.  We have not used the Jacuzzi since we moved in so I was not sure.  I told her to fill the tub with water so the motor would not burn up since she said it had been running for quite some time.

I then suggested she go the breaker box, find the one marked tub or Jacuzzi and turn it off.  Gary was still in the toilet stall so she left him, went down all the stairs, grabbed Xander's toy flashlight (it worked) and headed for the breaker.  Vioila!  She found the right switch and turned it to "off".  Or so we thought.  She went back upstairs to check on Gary (no gym membership required in this house full of stairs!) and found the tub still shooting water to and fro.  I could hear it roar in the background. 

I asked if the water was above the jets.  She replied affirmatively.  She had to leave to get Xander from day care and I was too far away to do anything.  She assured me there would be no flood so I decided it was ok until I got home over an hour away.

When I arrived home, I put on a pair of shorts to get in the tub since the spigots and the drain are on the far end of the tub (pretty stupid design).  I also tried the button which looked nothing like a Jacuzzi button I had ever seen.  Water had started to splash all over that side of the bathroom.  Since she had followed my initial directions and turned the brass button one way and then the other, the air was on full spray and doing its job.

There was no button that looked anything like a switch.  WTF?  If we couldn't find the button to turn it off, how did Gary turn it on?

Then, I remembered a silver switch on the wall behind Gary's bathrobe.  Remember when you were a kid and you went to a hotel that had a heater in the ceiling in the bathroom that had a timer switch.  Yes, one of those.  All this time, I thought it was a heater switch that we never needed.  It was stuck on zero.  Or at least there was a fine line between zero and sixty minutes.  He had turned the knob all the way around, it turned on the Jacuzzi and got stuck in an on position.  I turned it off the a moment of peaceful quiet after the raging waters from moments before!

So, how did it not turn off when Heather cut the power?  So, I too used the toy flashlight (three other flashlights in the emergency area did not work) and headed for the breaker.  It was off.  Again, there is no explanation for how the Jacuzzi continued to run with the power "off" but it did.  Crazy house. 

So, after a day of audits and regular work, I mopped the floor while explaining the answers to all of Xander's questions.  "Why did you open the shower?  What is a sponge?  Why is there water everywhere?  What is that thing in your hand called? Why is it called a mop?  Why did Papa turn on the bathtub? Why are you standing in the bathtub with your clothes on?  Why are you letting the water out?"  And.....etc.

So, as per normal, rather than trust that Gary will remember not to use that knob again when he is trying to turn on the lights...I got out the duct tape and covered the switch so it cannot be used. 

I then remembered that I needed to double check that Gary's CLUB remembered to have him wear his jacket home (that is another topic for another day).  Of course, Heather reported that  he did not wear a jacket home. I was close to blowing a gasket after spending almost a half hour prior to work this morning watching a social worker at day care run around looking for Gary's clothes from when he had an accident and came home in someone's spare clothes. 

Tomorrow morning, when I take him again, I will need to go in, find the social worker and make a real stink.  Why is Gary the only one who comes home without a jacket?  Or is he?  Perhaps I have uncovered a significant problem there? 

I have been known, on occasion, to be very vocal. I should be plenty warmed up by morning....look out world!

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