Saturday, February 6, 2016

Urine Chronicles: Loss of two pair of Dress shoes

Life sure has its changes. 

Gary and I have been married 30+ years.  We have traveled to many countries, lived in waaay too many places and shared incredible adventures.  I am thankful that during those years we did not stay home and wait on retirement.  We would never have had those adventures.

In 2016, it is difficult just taking him to do errands.  I cannot imagine ever vacationing with him again.  That makes me incredibly sad, as we so loved traveling and playing in exotic, fun places.

I day dream of going to Cuba and seeing the for-so-long-forbidden-to-America land and meeting the people.  I long to go back to Panama where we were to retire and play golf and hike.

Now, just to go meet friends for dinner, I have to arrange for a caregiver....and then worry the whole time.  It is not right nor fair.  But it is what it is.

This was an incredibly tough week.  I am sick with a bad cough and no energy.  Our new caregiver is working out well and Gary seems to listen to her.  He was kicked off the transportation bus due to constantly unbuckling his seat belt, taking off his shoes and at least twice, threw his shoes at the driver.  (I have a hard time believing that one but he must have been terribly frustrated by something). So, now his caregiver, Jessica, goes to his day care and picks him up.  So far her biggest issue is that he likes to click the window button....constantly. 

On Friday, I came home to find Gary and Jessica sitting at our dining table together and he was coloring a picture.  He sat quietly and without comment as she explained the events of the afternoon.

Normally, while he takes a nap, she sits downstairs or works on assignments while he sleeps.  She can hear him get out of bed and checks on him to prepare him for a walk.  This day, she did not hear him get out of bed, but rather heard something a few minutes later.  She entered the bedroom to find it empty and walked in to the master suite where he was standing fully clothed, in the shower, peeing.  She let him finished and then noticed that he had a pair of jeans in his hand.  Since they were "damp", she looked around and followed a trail into my master closet.  Sure enough, I had not put away two of my best pairs of shoes and had those same jeans on the floor ready to put on upon arrival from work.  He had urinated in my best pair of shoes and soaked the suede pair of pumps.

The poor girl cleaned it up and placed the shoes where I could decide whether or not to toss them out.  Let's examine that picture for a moment.  Can you imagine me sitting in a conference room at the college on a warm day and the feet start to warm up, sweat and activate that smell? I don't think so.  Both pair went into the trash.

Meanwhile, back at the dining table as she told me the story.  I was so sick and tired that I just stood there and listened.  There was no emotion.  Gary showed no reaction as if he were hearing a fiction novel centered around his life. 

Today, we had to run to the UPS Store to send a document to Florida by Monday.  One of the persons who defrauded us in 2012 was found guilty and had sentencing next week.  We are hoping for some restitution.  Again, Gary remembers none of this and I am the one chasing the dreams alone.

Immediately before leaving the house, Gary used the toilet and we got in the car.  Within minutes of heading down the Anaheim Hills, he announced that he needed to pee.  I swallowed my judgment and anger and asked if he could hold it until we finished mailing the letter.  He said yes.  NOTE TO SELF:  don't believe him.

We went into the UPS Store while I held his hand and led him like a small child.  He again stated that he needed to pee.  While standing in line, he said, "Ada, I'm peeing."

I looked down and saw nothing.  Viola, the diaper worked!  I haven't been so delighted in quite a while.  However, he doesn't realize that his new underwear is actually a diaper and could not understand why his jeans were not wet.  So, he kept feeling himself looking for moisture.  I verbalized that I was glad he was wearing a diaper for the benefit of the guy behind the counter.  He grinned and seemed relieved. Can you imagine overhearing the conversation without benefit of the background.  In retrospect, it was pretty funny.

The next decision was whether I continue to the grocery to pick up three items knowing his diaper was wet or going home, changing him and coming back.  Kids go for a while with a wet diaper, right? 

So ten minutes later, we exited the store (fastest I have ever got him to navigate the store) and went home. 

What a day.....

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