I love my Gary!

Lately I have been rising (at least awakening) early.  I'm apparently getting enough sleep.


Yesterday, I had a long day at work and knew I would not make it to visit Gary so I went to visit him about 7:30 am.
He had been showered and combed and was sitting in the dining room at a table all by himself waiting on breakfast.  All the others in the room were doing the same. 


I greeted him with a loving, "Hi, Garball."  He said "Good Morning."  He knew me.  I had approached him from the left and sat next to him.  I forgot that he doesn't really relate to things on his left and other than the time I moved his face toward me, he never looked at me.  He talked and answered my questions but it was if there was a wall there.  This distance is a function of his brain.  I should sit on his right.


I stayed for about 45 minutes until breakfast was being served.  I tried to get him to converse and he made it obvious that he just didn't have it in him.  I caressed him and he liked it.  I told him of my love and he responded in kind.  There is a difference in when he is repeating what he hears and what is an original thought or emotion.  If its his thought, he says it once. 


I thought about him sitting in that chair as my day progressed.  I don't obsess over it, but when I think of him, it saddens me.  He is bent over and lost his zeal. 


Jessica, his former caregiver, picked him up and took him to the dentist for a cleaning and to lunch.  She noticed that his gait is still incredibly slow but no slower.  She saw no degradation of his body or mind.  Its hard to tell when one is near him everyday.


I'm not sure what each day brings.  I am focusing heavily on my job and engaging with my associates.  I have regained some professional UMPF that I had not realized was missing.  I still have not found the new normal but I can only imagine it will take quite a while. 


I love my Gary.  I miss seeing him for long periods of time and just "being".  Saturday is coming and I hope to spend more time with him.  Hopefully, he will still know I'm there and I can get in some practice "being here now".