Dementia is killing him everyday.
Years ago, Gary and I decided to create memories on special occasions rather than buy gifts. On anniversaries, we usually went on vacation and on every 5th year, we did a big trip of some sort. The irony of that decision is that I'm the only one who still remembers the memories. I regret nothing but sure wish he was still mentally capable of hearing that I still love him and to have him tell me the same.
I so appreciate the years he and I had. I am a much better person for having been married to him.
The Assisted Living Center where he lives is having a luau tomorrow night and I will be attending and feeding Gary his chopped up anniversary meal. He may or may not be awake so I may eat alone. I am convinced he does not know me but I will dress up, put on my makeup and go as if I'm 16 going on a date. He deserves that even if he isn't awake.
I still love Gary but frankly, I'm not in love with the man that is now a shell. Some may not understand but if I'm judged, so be it. I do not wish Dementia on anyone. It steals lives, memories and wipes out souls.
SO for now, I will say Happy Anniversary Gary!
God bless you and Gary on your 32nd wedding anniversary ♡
ReplyDeleteHi Ada,
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog for several weeks - I can't remember how I stumbled upon you, but I am grateful. This post was especially meaningful to me. My 59 year old husband has bvFTD. He has lived in a memory care facility for over 3 years. Sept 8 was our 38th anniversary. I visited him and he still knows me, but he is gone. He is not yet in late stage, although I would say he is close to entering that door. Thank you so much for posting your experiences. It has been strangely comforting to hear your journey. By the grace of God go we...