Wednesday, March 18, 2015

"No! No! No! I live HERE!"

"Honey, I am sorry to bother you at the office but Cheryl is sitting next to me on the sofa and you really need to talk to her."  So, Gary handed his phone to Cheryl (his caregiver)who proceeded to tell me that they had just returned from their walk with Diva and that Gary had misbehaved.  She sounded quite disturbed, as did he.  I asked what happened and she proceeded to share with me her first experience with him being "independent and bull-headed". (THose are my descriptions, not hers :))

Apparently, they walked up our street which is a typical suburban street with near identical homes on either side of the street.  He had seen a car in a driveway of a house a few doors down and proceeded to think it was mine and that he was home. As he approached the front door, Cheryl realized his confusion and told him that he was at the wrong house.  He ignored her and proceeded to get out his key and moved toward the door to unlock it.  She quickly escalated her communication to protect his actions and he then turned into the ten year old boy that many of us know and love.  "NO! NO! NO! I live HERE!"  Before he could finish putting the key in the door, she pulled his hand away and moved him back to the sidewalk. 

They were both quite frustrated.  He called me to say that she was inappropriate and wanted me to rebuke her.  NOT.  At the end of our conversation, he had apologized and agreed to be compliant with all "ADULTS" who might take care of him.  I actually had practiced this same speech with my 3 year old grandson just last week. I explained that today was Cheryl's last day with him due to Heather having moved in with us and that he needed to be very nice to her.

Gary seemed to understand.  I sure hope so.

It feels lately that many of my days are filled with endless hope of his compliance with.....well, whatever situation we are dealing with at that moment in time.  Recently, I have also noticed that his behavior triggers an acceleration in my levels of anger and my response. I go from zero to sixty in being perturbed, frustrated and angry.  I would never hurt him but words can be just as hurtful as a strike.  Biting my tongue has become imperative for the sanity in our household.

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