Not sure what this means.....

I walked into my Gary's Memory Unit on Saturday and was greeted by a caregiver.....well, I am always greeted by one of them as they have to let visitors in the unit by using a locking code.  She quickly told me that Gary had a new roommate. I asked about his abilities and Memory Status so I know how to act while in the room.  

I walked past the living area where I knew Gary was sitting and went back to his room.  Outside his room was a pants rack with Gary's blazer and dress slacks.  This was odd.  Most clothing that hangs in that hallway is used for reminiscing decor.  Specifically, women's hats, dress up gowns, etc.
I found it strange that Gary is still alive but his clothes had been entered into the inventory of memory joggers.  I said nothing to anyone and went back to say hi to my non-emotional husband. 

One of the angels was feeding him his thickened water with a spoon.  He has water spilled down his t-shirt and also water coagulated in his mustache.  She arose and knew that I would take over giving him water.  I retrieved a straw and he promptly drank it all quickly.  For some reason, he drinks it that way for me but when one of them tries, he chews the straw.  Go figure.

It seems like many of my visits now are to supplement the care-giving done by the Unit and by Hospice.  I trimmed his nails, mustache and used a q-tip to remove an excessive amount of ear wax from his ears.  He did not seem to notice or care about any of this.  As I perform these actions, I talk to him the whole time.  I call him by his nicknames "Baberoon, Garball, etc." If he has any recollections, at least he knows that someone who loved him is there.  He often grabs my hand and will not let go.

He often has a tear roll down his cheek.  I wipe it away and tell him I love him.  That is all I can do.

He fell asleep and I left.  I thought of the deaths that have occurred since he started living there a year and a half ago. So many lives are impacted by this horrible disease.  My life has changed significantly and evolved....I have to honestly say my life is better than it has been in years.  

I am blessed to have had a wonderful marriage for 32 years.  I am ready to see what is next for me as Gary moves toward going home to Heaven.