Monday, September 1, 2014

Preparing to move is a less than desirable activity = Moving Sucks!

On September 9, Gary and I will have been married for 29 years.  In that time, we have moved to different places of domicile 25 times (it might be more, I lost count and he doesn't remember anymore, so I can't ask him).  In November, we will move again to a house very near the college where I work. 

In the past, when we moved, Gary always took the lead on the packing, sorting, etc.  When we sold our house nearly two years ago, he was no longer capable and I took the lead.  Since I ran out of time, we packed most of what we really needed to purge and not move again.  So, now, we face either purging our junk or moving it again.  NO way. This time, I am in charge.

So, this year, instead of going on vacation we decided to stay home and organize, purge and get ready for packing.  We started Saturday having Gary try on all the pants in his closet to see what is too small.  We gave away twenty pairs of slacks and jeans.  He hung in there pretty well through his own closet, but got a little stressed when it came time for mine.

Gary assisted by taking my "too small forever" clothes out of the closet and folded or hung them as I tried on the next outfit.  This process took us hours. He really liked helping and making a difference.  Since the clothes were going to charity, I made a spreadsheet of new and used value for tax reasons.  Between yesterday and today, we gave away nearly $10,000 worth of professional clothing. 

Yesterday morning, we hauled it all to the American Cancer Society Discovery Store after church,  It took us 20 minutes to unload it all.  Gary kept saying, "why don't you just lose weight?"  That is a great question Gary.....   We then headed to Applebees for all you can eat ribs.

Photo: Ready for ribs. ...     


When we got home, we spent the rest of the day purging and organizing our giant pantry.  This space does not exist in the new house.  In fact, we are not sure what we are going to do with all the stuff.....perhaps we need to make a second sweep of each room.

By the end of the day, we were both exhausted and overwhelmed. Those two feelings are not a good mixture.  I got very irritated at everything Gary did or didn't do.  We should have stopped but we kept going.  He was really started to not process well and reached a point where he said, "Honey, I need to be blatantly honest with you.  I have been thinking of divorcing you." 

That is a new one.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  After twenty minutes of crying, screaming, yelling and then calming myself to explain to him why divorce is not a good option for us.  Especially since we love each other so much and that his dementia had just kicked into high gear. He was frustrated and that was a programmed response from three other marriages.

He snapped and realized what he said and how much he had hurt me.  He spent the rest of the evening telling me that he never really meant it and testifying to his love for me.   I knew all that.  I appreciated the apologies and the extensive foot rub.  :)

Today was productive and not quite as painful.  We are both beat up and tired.  Crock pot Chicken and Dumplings saved the day with an easy dinner. 

The rest of the week will include cleaning out Gary's workshop and the garage.  That will take two days if we work at a fast pace. 

One thing I do know:  I cannot have him here while I have movers pack and unpack this house.  One of us will suffer irreparable damage.  At least I have until November to figure it out.  Anybody want to volunteer to take him on vacation?

1 comment:

  1. Great Blog!! That was amazing. Your thought processing is wonderful. The way you tell the thing is awesome.
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