Today, I reached the "Happy Place" around 10:45 and his hand looked almost normal. He was sitting in his wheelchair among the other residents listening to the Activity Director and mostly snoozing. I said hello but did not pull up a chair next to him because I would have blocked another resident, Nancy's view. I really don't think she knew anything going on and she probably wouldn't have known that I was blocking her view but she is an old lady so I have to be nice.
I felt like a fish out of water because I didn't really want to sit down with the residents so I checked on Gary's room, sorted the clothes in his closet, and plugged in his beard trimmer. I went back to the living area and sat down directly across from Gary about 5 feet away and listened to the stories being shared in the room.
Around 11:45, he suddenly woke up, sat up straighter and looked right at me. I said, "Well, there you are! Hi babes!"
As usual, he had no visible reaction. There is no emotion to be found on his face anymore. Here is the look of FTD.
I fed him lunch. When I first entered the unit this morning, one of the angels stopped me and asked me to bring in a thermos cup with a lid so Gary can pick up his own hot beverage. She says that he tries to pick up the coffee cup and is able to drink, but has coordination issues with sitting it back down and spills the liquid. They tell him that this is okay but she detects that this embarrasses him and then he doesn't try again. She senses that the cup would help him be more independent.
He seemed troubled today. I don't know why he would be other than the fact that maybe today he is more aware of his situation.
I wheeled him into his room for a beard trim. Afterward, I played some songs on my telephone. He showed no reaction. I held his hand and rubbed his arms. I played Glen Campbell's song about Dementia "I'm Not Gonna Miss You". He seemed to listen. It made me sad. Please find the lyrics below:
"I'm still here, but yet I'm gone
I don't play guitar or sing my songs
They never defined who I am
The man that loves you 'til the end
You're the last person I will love
You're the last face I will recall
And best of all, I'm not gonna miss you
Not gonna miss you
I'm never gonna hold you like I did
Or say I love you to the kids
You're never gonna see it in my eyes
It's not gonna hurt me when you cry
I'm never gonna know what you go through
All the things I say or do
All the hurt and all the pain
One thing selfishly remains
I'm not gonna miss you
I'm not gonna miss you"