Visiting Gary tonight was very special. I had a fabulously successful day at work and was feeling very good leaving work. Traffic was heavy but I got to Gary's Memory Unit quickly and found him sitting in the living area. He kissed me hello and I said hello to all the residents who responded to me.
The angels were dealing with all the residents' individuals needs and deciding on a movie. Gary was particularly awake and confirmed what the care manager told me when I came in. The swelling has decreased in his hand but he is articulating that he has pain. We gave him a pain pill and requested an xray tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I noticed when I bent over to fix his shoe that he started patting my back. I stayed in a bent over position to see if it was a fluke. He continued to caress my back and pat me. It was as if he was aware that I have feelings. I sat up and he moved his caressing to my hair. He felt the back and then moved his hand to the side of my head and stroked my hair. He said, "Your hair is soft." I almost cried. This is more aware and present than he has been in many months.
I told him that I love him and he replied, "I love you, too." I said, "I'm glad you love me. It's easier that way." He sort of smiled and said, "Yes, its easier." Despite the fact that he was repeating words he was hearing on the movie in the background, these were original words and thoughts. Thank you, Lord!
He went back to stroking my hair and arm. I started talking to him as I would have years ago. I told him about my day and that it was successful. After a few minutes, he stopped repeating my words and went back to repeating the words on the movie in the background.
Over the weekend, I had tried to get him to watch the screen when the sailboats were on, but he would not. I thought that tonight, he might watch. I moved him over to a clear view of the screen and moved his chin to where he could see the actor John Candy waterskiing on the screen. He started watching it. His eyes stayed fixed for about 5 minutes of the movie.
I told him goodbye and left. He kissed me goodbye and said that he loves me. Wow. I could not have asked for a greater surprise.
It is amazing that these few moments of recognition are so valuable. I hadn't realized how much I missed his touch. It was if I was starved. I can only imagine how he must feel during times of clarity. He must miss us terribly.....I surely do.
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