Purging his wardrobe

I have not visited Gary much lately.  Our dear friend Shirley came down from Portland last weekend to visit us and we went to see him three times.  She was moved by the experience as evidenced by her tears and subsequent conversations.


It is difficult seeing the transition from what was a brilliant mind to that mind of today. 


In my last post, I announced (in essence) that I was taking back what control of my life that I can and that I am thinking differently and making decisions for me.  I have done that since I committed to it.


Through the help of special friends, I am getting my energy back.  I am separating from the negative emotions I have been feeling for a period of time for which I can no longer track to the beginning. 


I stopped by to see Gary briefly today.  He stared at me.  He seemed to know me but had no reaction.  I hurried out of there as this morning I started a project at home.


This morning, I began purging and bagging all of Gary's clothes.  I boxed his dress shoes and casual shoes in separate boxes.  I used Hefty flex bags to hold all the shirts, pants, swimsuits,  khakis, hiking clothes, etc.  It was 12 bags full.  I will give them to charity.  He will never need them.


I did not finish.  I still have his dress clothes, neckties, t-shirt collection, coats, jackets and shorts. I just could not do anymore today.  I will do it soon.


Upon finishing, there was a catharsis that existed.  It was magical.  I have let go.  I can't tell you how exciting it is.


I will always love Gary.  I hate Frontotemporal Degeneration.


I am surviving and starting to get happy.