Reagan Library Meltdown

So, I disappeared for a few days and drove up Highway One to see the Hearst Castle and The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. 

I thoroughly enjoyed my time away and found a lot of rest and peace of mind, temporary though it was.  I seemed to be able to forget that I had a husband near death in Memory Care....that is, until I got to the part of the Reagan Library where a display held the letter that Ronald Reagan wrote to the American people upon being diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  As I stood there, I read his words and imagined the torture that he and Nancy must have endured by simply learning of the disease....much less the next years of their life. 

Here is the letter as found in the Reagan Library:

"Nov. 5, 1994
My Fellow Americans,
I have recently been told that I am one of the millions of Americans who will be afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease.
Upon learning this news, Nancy and I had to decide whether as private citizens we would keep this a private matter or whether we would make this news known in a public way.
In the past Nancy suffered from breast cancer and I had my cancer surgeries. We found through our open disclosures we were able to raise public awareness. We were happy that as a result many more people underwent testing.
They were treated in early stages and able to return to normal, healthy lives.
So now, we feel it is important to share it with you. In opening our hearts, we hope this might promote greater awareness of this condition. Perhaps it will encourage a clearer understanding of the individuals and families who are affected by it.
At the moment I feel just fine. I intend to live the remainder of the years God gives me on this earth doing the things I have always done. I will continue to share life's journey with my beloved Nancy and my family. I plan to enjoy the great outdoors and stay in touch with my friends and supporters.
Unfortunately, as Alzheimer's Disease progresses, the family often bears a heavy burden. I only wish there was some way I could spare Nancy from this painful experience. When the time comes I am confident that with your help she will face it with faith and courage.
In closing let me thank you, the American people for giving me the great honor of allowing me to serve as your President. When the Lord calls me home, whenever that may be, I will leave with the greatest love for this country of ours and eternal optimism for its future.
I now begin the journey that will lead me into the sunset of my life. I know that for America there will always be a bright dawn ahead.
Thank you, my friends. May God always bless you.
Sincerely,
Ronald Reagan"

As I stood there alone, I began to cry.  Hot, small tears flowed down my cheeks. All I could do was walk off and do my best to squelch the emotion.

The truth is, every journey is individual and different.  Even having gone through the Dementia diagnosis and years of hell, no one can imagine what another family will encounter.  I was so angry that the disease (which has no economic, sex or racial filter) can devastate such a great world leader or anyone else for that matter.  Why did it devastate my husband? 

For those out there who are still living with the disease or care giving for one who is....I can only wish you peace and a pain-free end to the suffering.  I wish for it everyday.