I don't know how or why, but Gary is still among the living. Today, I visited him at his Memory Care Unit. He was seated with Janette in the open living area. I have been around Janette for 1.5 years....apparently she is now blind or her eyesight is failing....I hate that these people are dying and breaking down.
One of the caregivers who has been there since we first moved him in was there and had been instructed to read to Gary. I sat down to see what was going on and incredibly, she started reading to him from a paper that HE wrote 10 years ago about his childhood and the remainder of his life. I had forgotten that I gave them his autobiography when he moved in to the unit. She spent about 40 minutes reading aloud about his life. All stories I have heard a thousand times. I supplemented information to each story.
At the end, I asked her what her objective was in reading to him. She said that her directions were to read to him and then annotate the results. She opened the book and wrote "Patient had no response." I am not sure what they thought would be accomplished.....Gary was oblivious. I suffered through the stories again.....but at the same time, they were glorious.
To add to the story....at least three of the caregivers have given notice or are looking for another job. They are either underpaid or moving on....it is sad. Why is it that in America, we pay the most important people the less? Firefighters. Police. Caregivers.
Bottom line: Gary is still alive.The doctors had said that he would not make it till August 1. Today is October 28.
The front line caregivers in my husband's memory care facility are constantly changing. Over the past 3.5 years, I have seen several of the best ones promoted within the facility, so I suppose that is some comfort. And when I experience a "bad one" I've learned to say to myself, "Oh well - (s)he won't be here long; maybe the next one will be better." I don't even bother to learn their names any more... There are so many excellent things about his memory care facility, but their ability to retain good caregiver employees is not one of them.
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