"I'm just so OVERWHELMED!!!!"

In approximately 1987, I decided that someday I would write a book called, "Go to your Corners and Come Out Fighting".  It was going to be about our life together as a couple...at the time, we were fighting bad, new-rich guys with bad personal and business habits.  We were fighting debt, overspending and bankruptcy.  I was 25 years old.  It was loosely based on what the referree says to the boxers in the middle of the ring once he has given them the rules of the fight.  So, now, the title still seemed to be appropriate, just for different reasons.  However, the title to this entire blog could also be

"I'm so overwhelmed."

Gary says that many evenings every few minutes.  It happens when:

• he has to think through a complex thought/problem
• he doesn't understand something
• I push him faster than he can move (mentally)
• he is tired or sleepy
• he wants a drink and can't have one
• he forgets his medicine
• when he is frustrated

When I say he says it all the time, I mean HE REALLY SAYS IT ALOT.  It grates on my patience like hard parmesan on a cheese grater.  It hurts because other than giving him downer teas or giving him a hot bath, I can't usually fix it. 

He NEVER says it when he is happy or playing in some way.

I've never felt the pain of trying to comfort a child that feels poorly or a teenager who has had their heart broken.  Mothers and fathers have that experience to draw from in dealing with their spouse entering this stage of life.  I don't have any experience.  I stink.   We just went through dinner and about an hour of the overwhelm.  I fixed him a hot bath and started the blog. I'm downstairs writing this and watching American Idol.  The surrround sound is on so I thought I heard a faint ADA......I turned off the sound and yelled, "did you call me?"  No response.  I went upstairs and repeated the question.  He said, "I have called you four times, why didn't you answer?" I explained and apologized and asked him what he needed. 

This particular disturbance was my own fault.  When I made his bath tonight, I added a little extra bubble bath.  It makes awesome soap bubble animals.  He wanted to show me the dog/bear/cat figurine he had sculpted on his knee.  BAM!  Overwhelm gone.

The secret is to keep him perfectly unstressed and happy.  Can anyone help me figure out how to make life this simple?  He has always been a cut up who loves to play....that is one reason I love him so much. When he shows me soap bubble animals, I temporarily forget about the overwhelmed man from before....I like it that way.