Mission Accomplished: Move to Memory Care Complete

Gary's move into Memory Care is complete.


I awoke around 4:00am and laid in the bed next to Gary just looking at him.  I knew it was the last time.


Jessica was due at 7:30 to shower and dress Gary and keep him while Heather and I went to the new place and moved in the belongings.  Instead, I showered and dressed Gary.  This activity can be very stressful but today it was merely a labor or love.  He cooperated fully and seemed to understand as I talked to him about "last times".


Heather took Xander to school which is right down the street from "The Happy Place" and met me there to start the move in process.  We hung all the pictures, made the bed, hung his clothes, labeled his new furniture with its contents.  When we felt it was complete, we went home to get him.


Here are some pics of the décor.

When I got home, Gary was sitting on the sofa in a blanket watching television with Jessica his caregiver. At some point, I went over to him and once again explained that he would be moving away today to a place where he will be well taken care of and be happy.  He had a glimmer of recognition of my words and then started reading the close captioning on the television.  That was exactly what I needed as a premonition that maybe this would not be so bad.

Upon arrival, we walked into the unit and all the caregivers rushed to welcome him.  We made our way to his new room and showed him the pictures which immediately received no recognition.  He sat down on the bed and started to lay back....drained.  We had him sit up just as his nurse came in the door with the unit Puppy named Annie.  Six months old and all tongue, she introduced herself to Gary and he said, "My dog."

After a few minutes, we took him to the lunch room where he was introduced to his table mates and we left to go to lunch. 

Jessica and I had great conversation at lunch and it appeared that Gary's caregiver was also on duty to serve the wife.  It was nice to have someone who understood my angst.

We arrived back at the Happy Place to find Gary sitting in their living room at a table.  I went to his room, checked on a few things and found that his bed was not working properly.  They were dispatching Hospice to fix the bed.

Standing in his room was surreal.  Gary will be LIVING there without me, without Diva.  What a concept after 30 years of rarely being apart.

I decided it was time to go.  I went into the room where he was still sitting and said, "I'm going home now.  I will visit you tomorrow.  I kissed him on the lips and he said goodbye.  As I walked away, I turned and looked at him and blew him a kiss like I have a thousand times before when leaving for work.  The trick is to "catch" the kiss and put it down the front of your shirt and pat over your heart as if the kiss is making your heart beat.  In perfect form, he caught the kiss, made his heart beat and blew back a kiss with a smile.  I caught it and made my heart "beat."

I could leave now....my work in transitioning him was complete and accepted.

I had envisioned that part of the day to be the hard part.  I was wrong.

As I sat in the car in the parking garage, I became numb.  I started the car and realized that I did not know what to do, where to go.  For 2+ years, I have done nothing but go to work and take care of Gary.  It was 1:30 in the afternoon.  What does one do with free time?

Though it may sound silly, I was paralyzed.  I saw that my friend Shirley had sent an email and I immediately called her.  She was so gracious in taking my impromptu call and cried more than I did.  We decided that I should get a pedicure and manicure at a new place where I knew no one.  It would be easy as I would not have to answer questions, nor talk and could just chill.

I did.  It was nice having time to myself but it also made me realize that I will have a lot of time to myself. 

I came home, put out the trash.  I eliminated every trace of incontinence....all the extra pads and diapers.  I am done with that in the home. 

I received an email from Gary's coordinator that said they had fixed his broken bed motor and he was sitting in the living area with other residents playing a trivia game.  She said he had answered some questions and seemed happy.

For now, I will start seeking the new normal.  Tonight's bedtime for Diva and I will be unusual.  I hope we can sleep. 



Preparing for the move to Memory Care

Gary will be moving into "Memory Care" in three days.  So, in order to get ready, I had to do a few things that frankly, were very uncomfortable.

First, on several occasions  I have attempted to tell him that he is going to live at "The Happy Place" where people can take care of him better than I can.  The delivery has to be just perfect in that event that he actually understands.  I certainly don't want the news to be flippant or insensitive.  He still doesn't get it.

On Saturday, I spent the day looking at check lists and packing his belongings.  Every piece of clothing had to be thought out to seek the perfect item.  Pants have to preferably have elastic waist with no draw string.  Shirts have to be hot water friendly and wrinkle proof.  T-shirts have to be soft and not provoke too many questions as to make him uncomfortable if he can't answer. (This is my problem, not his).  Every item had to be individually marked "Gary" or "G" if that is all that fits.  Each sock, shirt, pants, robe, etc was labeled with a permanent marker that hopefully will not wash off after use. 

I folded everything carefully, adding hangars where appropriate and labeling the box.  What did I forget?  I tried to realize that he is only 8 miles away and I am going to visit all the time and can take clothes as necessary. 

I ordered the hamper for dirty clothes, replenished all the personal toiletries....the right shampoo, soap, toothpaste, toothbrush and deodorant.  Labeled everything. 

The picture frames came in today for the special photographs I had reprinted for his wall décor.  I think they are perfect.  I packed his favorite Bible plaque and added in "The Lord's Prayer".  He still says it every night with prompting so hopefully, he will see it from his bed and maybe take the hint.  I can't believe that after 30 years I will no longer be sleeping with my husband.  I'm not referencing sex....I'm talking about rolling over in the night, touching his shoulder and telling him I love him.  He always responds in kind.  The thought of rolling over one night before I realize he is really away and trying to touch his hand or stroke his brow.....and he won't be there.  My heart breaks.

Meanwhile, I have one of the second most important weeks of our year at the University.  Tomorrow is a critical day in regard to preparing for our Reaffirmation.  I have a caregiver coming at 7 am so I can get to work on time.  He will not go to Adult Day Care tomorrow.  His last day will be Wednesday.  I stopped when I dropped him off this morning and told his social worker that he was transferring to Memory Care.  She got big alligator tears in her eyes and did everything she could not to cry.  She said, "We love having Gary, he is so sweet".  I responded with the same emotion and she looked at me as if she could feel my despair.  I managed not to cry....I had a conference video call a half hour later and could not risk the mascara and puffy eyes.  There will be time for that after Gary is safely tucked into his new home.

This is all so unbelievable to me.  It is unreal to many who haven't read the blog for a while and casually drop in to see how we are doing.  I think Shock is a good word to describe it. 

Tonight, as we sat on the sofa like every other night, he looked at me and said, "I want to lay down."  I moved around the pillows, laid out the bed pad and made him comfortable.  As I type, he is talking and reading the close captioning on our nightly dose of "MASH". 

Then, there is the reality that my husband has a terminal illness that qualifies him for Hospice care.  Really?  Hospice? That means he will die.  We all do......just not so soon.  He may live two months, two years or more?  No one knows what hell we might encounter before he joins his Lord.  I just pray that he is spared pain....I have enough emotional pain for both of us.

How did the word "Hospice" creep into my life?

Today's events: 
Worked a full day at my job.
Decided on a move-in date for Gary's Memory Care.
Worked with Heather to order and buy Furniture and bedding for Gary's new room.
Got the TB test done.
Did intake with Hospice Coordinator and signed Gary into Hospice benefits immediately.
Signed a DNR for Gary.

Tomorrow consists of doing an intake with the Nurse from the Memory Care unit to give us final costs.

I don't think any commentary is needed.

Thanks to all who have offered incredible assistance.  You guys are wonderful.....you know who you are.

Prayers are appreciated. 

"For Better or Worse" has taken on a whole new meaning.



 

Today started normally....

Today started normally....no wait, it was not normal. Gary had peed overnight in his diaper but had not gotten up nor did a "bed wash" (when Gary is aware that he needs to pee, but is not aware that he is wearing a diaper and pulls out his penis and pees freely around the diaper, thus saturating his clothes and the mattress pad) all night.  We were able to sleep.

While I looked forward to sleeping past 7:00 am, he started counting and reading the Bible verse on the wall.  He read this over and over and counted in between.  I begged him to be quiet and when he finally did, then DIva needed to go out.  That requires arising, adorning glasses, going down a large flight of steps, harnessing the dog and going out while waiting on her to complete her good morning Beagle sniff and pee.  Then back up the stairs which is just enough to get the heart rate going, wake up and have no prayer of going back to sleep.  So, I made coffee and brought it and our morning vitamins and pills to our bedside.

Even though I have done this thousands of times over the years, Gary could not figure out how to manipulate his body to sit up, scoot his butt back against the large pillow and be prepared to swallow pills and coffee. That process was tiring, at best.

Once he had his coffee, I settled in next to him with my phone to post various Father's Day and Adventure pictures of Gary on Facebook.  A while later, we had finished our coffee and I got Gary up to take showers.

Again, hundreds of times we have gone through the same process.  (Post Dementia).  I wash him, shave him, rinse him and he gets out to towel off while I finish rinsing.  Today was different.

Next to our shower is a recessed Jacuzzi which is never used due to it being rather unsafe to get in and out of....so it houses a large Orange HOme Depot 5 gallon bucket, a mop and a long handle shower scrubber.  In slow motion, Gary put the towel over his head, stepped backward either due to leg tremors or just unbalance and fell in slow motion backward into the recessed tub, past the home depot bucket and hit his head squarely on the brass component sticking out the side of the tub.  Naked and wet, his eyes crossed and I said, "Gary, are you hurt?"  Well, it was more like, "GARY, ARE YOU HURT?"  

For those who now him recently he repeats everything he hears multiple times.  So, when I said, "Gary, are you hurt?" one would expect him to say back "Gary, are you hurt?"  Today he said, "Yes, I am hurt."  So buck naked, I knew I needed help and grabbed the closest robe, donned it to cover my nekkkked ass, and screaming for Joshua and Heather to come.

As the three of us managed to maneuver Gary into position and Joshua pulled him out of the tub and onto the now towel covered floor, I saw that he had a huge purple knot on this head where the brass knob gouged him.  He had a large hematoma starting on this side where he had hit the bucket and the mop. 

We got him dressed....I'm sorry to Joshua and especially Heather for the nudity but it had to be....

I dressed, we got him down the steps and into the car and off to the ER we went.  We checked into our normal room in the ER and said hello to the same doctor who saw us last time.  An Xray and CT scan later encountered no head injury and a hairline fracture on the 9th rib.  At 12:30 we left the hospital.

Prior to being discharged, I had the opportunity to tell Gary that I could no longer take care of him and that he needed to move into a "Happy Place".  When Gary was attempting to start the Circle of Life Holistic Healthcare Center a few years back, he nicknamed it the Happy Place.  He did not seem to understand but we went by for a familiarization tour.

He was very hungry so focused more on the Nectarine and cookie I gave him in the lobby.  We walked around and said hello to residents, looked at his room and met the man who will now be his roommate.  Of course, he didn't know it but was very out of sorts partially because he was hungry and was probably in pain. The unit manager picked up the Happy Place analogy and referenced the place immediately as just that.....he smiled.

We left and picked up fast food, went home and ate.  I arranged for Heather to watch him while I went out to the pharmacy to get his prescription of Narcotic pain killers.  I went to the store and found out that the prescription had not been called in.....frustrated, I called the Er and was told that I had the prescription in the discharge paperwork due to DEA regulations.  I spent some wasted time with the ER operator suggesting improved patient service by notifying the patient of said fact......yeah, deaf ears.

Anyway, I went back to the car to retrieve the prescription...sure enough, there is was.  I took it back to the Pharmacy knowing that I would have to wait. ..ok.

Then, I was told the Pharmacist was at lunch and because of DEA regulations (those people have much control) that the PHarmacist had to verify they had the prescription and that she was at lunch.  It would be at least 45 minutes before she returned from lunch and then .....they would text me that it was ready. No one cares that I have substitute caregivers watching my Demented husband at home who have no tolerance for urine issues....

So, I went home and waited.  I ordered several photograph prints off the internet for the wall in Gary's new room.  I chose to put up pictures of us, family but mostly our adventures over the years.  For now, they are all pictures he will recognize.

The phone buzzed signifying the prescription was done and I ascended back down the hill to retrieve the all important drugs.  The poor woman who had received my wrath after telling me I had to wait on the Pharmacist to return before greeted me with a smile and trepidation for what my mood my throw upon her.  I picked up the prescription and noticed that she was coughing horribly and sounded a lot like I did when I had pneumonia.  I caught her offguard when I told her that understood and asked, "Don't you just hate it when you are hacking up a lung and can't stop to the point of gagging and then you squirt pee?"  She was absolutely shocked and then started giggling.... it was a closely guarded secret and we now had something in common.  At least I still have my sense of humor. 

At home, I gave Gary his pain killer and watched him blissfully sit on the sofa for hours.   He never twitched, wiggled or moved.  The power of drugs.

So, during all that, I called the Memory Care facility and indicated that we need to accelerate his admission. I cannot keep him safe at home.  So while he lay like a zombie on the sofa, I began the painful paperwork.  34 pages in all.....I could not finish it all as I was having an important historical conversation with my granddaughter Samantha...our first real talk ever and it was priceless to me, but that is a story for another day.

Thank you Lord for letting my Gary walk away with minor injuries.  I take it as a sign that I need to move more quickly, despite my professional obligations for the next week.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

I must carry on.....

In the middle of the night, after 4 trips to the bathroom (two successful, one near miss and one bed flood), I came to the realization that I am near done and that I have made the right decision for Gary and myself that he go to Memory Care. 


I was tired after a long week and when he grabbed onto the posterbed with a vice-like grip to refuse to put on his diaper/underwear, I just begged him to go along with me.  He looked through me and did not change his behavior.  I felt the angst, tears and frustration well up in my chest and move to my eyes.  At that point, I gave up.  Not on the situation of the diaper install but gave up on the whole situation.  I would not be able to do this much longer without doing harm to myself or striking him. 


It is a point in life I never thought I would reach.  I came close after my grandson's Graduation ceremony this week.  I started to cry in front of our new pastor and then realized that there were hundreds of people around.....so, in perfect Ada style, I compartmentalized my emotion, pushed it down and moved on to leave.  Its a technique that I developed years ago in stressful situations. 


In this life situation, I cannot use this technique any longer as it will cause me irreparable harm.  When Gary goes to Memory Care and I have more time to heal, I will seek a good counselor to assure that I am dealing with the grief, anger, fatigue, confusion and responsibility.


In reality, I lost my husband a long time ago.  His body and part of his mind is still here.  I must carry on without him.

What is a GOOD wife?

I am struggling with the concept of living apart from Gary.  Did I say that I am struggling with living apart from my husband of 30 years?  This is going to be way harder on me than him.

I have to think through getting him the right furniture, taking the right clothes, décor and every detail.  I am so busy at work that I am struggling with time to make Doctors' appointments, calling Hospice, etc.  The new facility says they can help with this......ok.  I will try that route or it will not get done. 

I have to do this to preserve myself, my sanity, my job and every other aspect of being a good wife.  What is a good wife?

A loved one told me today that I will never recover from the guilt of making the decision to take him out of the home for 24 hour care.  "Could I have done something else?"  I can see that.  However, that guilt will be less than something happening to him here because he may not have the right care.  I can live with that a lot better.

Gary is my soulmate.  I know and have lived "For better or worse"  even though we actually never said those words.  Instead, our vows said, "when we are separated, only by death, we will be self actualized that so that one can continue independently...."  Wow, how powerful were my thoughts at age 22.  I sometimes think that 22 year old was wiser than me at 53.  Then again, maybe not.

Life has changed so significantly that I'm not sure how to react.  I am preparing to live life without my husband. While I know I am more than capable, it is still terrifying.

Every day is a new adventure.  Today, we had a substitute caregiver.  When I walked her to the door, she turned and looked at me.  She said, "You have a lot to deal with.  I am sorry for you."  I let him know that everyday is a new adventure.

Right now, I'm genuinely tired.  After a full day at work and very little sleep last night, I am shaky.  Lets hope Gary is just as tired so he sleeps rather than talks tonight.  I don't want to have to say "Please be quiet!  Please?" tonight....after all, it does No good.

Sleep well, my friends.

"I miss you like the Dickens!"

Gary is such a giving soul.  In fact, he would give one the shirt off his back if needed.  Above is a picture of us a few years ago cooking thousands of hot dogs at the Convoy of Hope. 

The Convoy is an organization that travels the country feeding the poor, washing feet, giving haircuts, clothes and spiritual outreach.  We did this together once and Gary went one year without me while I was in bed with a fever. 

He is still sweet and loving, just with a different affect.  When I returned home after a 4 day respite, he seemed to know I had been missing and perked up when I kissed him on the head. I was glad that he still connects with me.  It is a bittersweet recognition.

I had made the decision to admit him to Memory Care in July as I need the time to prepare everything.  My heart is broken.

This morning, I was getting him ready for his day at Day Care.  His legs started shaking like a few weeks ago when we thought he was having a seizure.  I managed to get him to the bed to lean against it while I tried to dress him.  His legs were so weak that he kept sliding down the side of the bed.  It was all I could do to handle him from falling on the floor.  I knew that if he sat down, his muscles would recover and he would be "fine".  I managed to get him to the end of the bed to a bench.  He sat there while I went through the normal plan of saying, "right leg.  Pick up your right leg.  Left leg.  Pick up your left leg."  I got his jeans to his waist but could not get him to stand to secure the waistband.  I let him sit there as long as I could before needing to continue dressing him.

After dressing myself and wondering, "What do I do now?  I can't call 911 as this is not an emergency.  How will I get him downstairs if this continues?" Due to recovering from Pneumonia and the physical exertion, I was exhausted.  I kept repeating "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  I said it at least 10 times.

Gary stood with my help, had stopped shaking and as we moved toward the stairwell, he said to me, "I miss you like the Dickens."  The heartfelt statement threw me.  I responded, "Why honey, I'm right here?" He said okay and we moved downstairs....slowly but safely with one hand on the rail and one hand on my shoulder.

I thought about his statement several times in the day.  Did he mean to say it in past tense and that he had missed me?  Or in that moment, did he not realize I was there even though he was talking to me?  What will he say when he is at Memory Care and talks to me and I'm not there?  That is the heartbreaking part for me.  He is my other half even when his half is not functioning well.

I'm sure God will protect both of us and bring healing for the grief.  I think of the people he has helped over the years.  As Christians, we know we are saved by Grace and not by deeds but I am hoping that while here on Earth he can cash in some of those good deeds for peace and tranquility here.  Heaven is handled for him.  He loves the Lord and we still recite the Lords' Prayer most nights.  He still knows it and recites it. 

Thank you Lord for every day. 

Gary Gives the Answer

Today, I have been very quiet. I'm waiting to hear God's advise.  Instead of hearing some blaring voice, I am getting subtle clues. 

As I was lying on the massage table today, I had the thought that I need to talk to an old friend....a friend who has know us since 1989 and better than anyone else.  So, I did.  I called him and caught him completely off guard.  This is a friend who does not follow the blog and is not on Facebook.  I knew he did not know the latest.  I caught him up and explained our current plight.  What a horrible position to put a dear friend in but I did it.  I expressed that putting him on the spot was unfair but that I am living in an unfair world and I just needed his valuable input. 

I asked him what he thought Gary would want.  He answered exactly what I thought he would if I had been neutral all this time.  Gary would not want to be a burden and do anything to cause me pain or trouble. 

In reality, I thought about Gary's master plan to build his "Circle of Life Holistic Health Care Center".  A few years back he was planning for and raising money to build a Health Care Center for victims of Dementia and Alzheimer's.  He wanted a place where patients would consider it a home  while gaining expert care and having an inviting place for the families to want to come and visit. 

Gary gave me the answer waaay back then.  He wanted a place to go so that everyone would have the best possible situation. While he did not have the brainpower to finish the project and we aborted the project, he did know that he was headed there and wanted the best for all concerned. Someday I would like to finish his beloved project.

The places that I am investigating are about 1/2 of the things that he wanted.  They don't have bowling alleys, organic gardens and multiple religious centers.  But they do have good care, low caregiver ratios and access to medical care.  Gary gave me the answer.

Now, I need to do the best thing a wife can do and find the RIGHT place for him.  God will provide the resources and money.  He has led the plan so far.  Why would he let me down now?

I Miss my Best Friend

In my quest to make decisions regarding Gary and his care, I have realized that I am exhausted and unless I change things, I have no chance of making an acceptable decision.  The decision in question is:  Do I continue to keep Gary at home using Day Care and Caregivers for now and move him to Memory Care later or should I move him sooner?  Will he be better off at home with me or someplace where he is stimulated more and I can get more rest?

The question is a deep one.  I have not left him at home at night without me....well, since his diagnosis, ever.  I did decide that I would take four days away and get 24 care for him (whopping expensive) and go somewhere nearby where I can rejuvenate yet be close by the first time.  I am staying about 30 miles from home at a golf resort near the beach.  So far, I can't seem to unwind but had a FABULOUS dinner at a local restaurant and plenty of time to myself.

I went to the beach today just to check out the conditions for going tomorrow.  It was 65 degrees and quite chilly.  Since I am recovering from Pneumonia, I wore my sweatshirt and felt toasty while watching small, shriveled children play in the surf.  Toasty was just fine.

The entire day I tried to stay focused on Gary.  Its not hard because he is so entwined in my life....every part of every breath of every day.  I love him to the depths and want the best for him. 

It is important to remember that the man I look at today is a mere shell of the one I know so well from the past. I tried to talk to him yesterday just to give the respect of telling him that I was going away for a few days.  I told him that I am sick and need to recuperate. I reiterated that I needed to make some decisions for him but did not tell him what.  There is no need.  He just repeated what I said and really had no comprehension.  It made me sad. 

I have yet to have a wide-out bawling experience related to his dementia.  It is coming......I have quick glimpses when watching t.v. or when seeing a couple holding hands.  I miss my life.  I miss my husband.  I miss my best friend.

As I sat in the restaurant tonight by myself, I found my companion to be my phone.  It was so surreal ....I kept waiting on Gary to walk in the door or to walk out of the restroom, sit down at the table and toast to our love.  He never came.  He never will.

Hopefully the next few days will allow me to go quiet and hear what the Lord is telling me when I ask him what to do.  I know he is whispering the answer......I just need to be quiet enough to hear the voice.

The Irony of it All - I have Pneumonia

Two weeks ago when the Neurologist gave me Gary's diagnosis, I had the opportunity to ask about death and the whens-wheres-hows of what could happen.

He indicated and I have done research since that shows the majority of deaths of people with FTD (Frontotemporal Degeneration) die from pneumonia. 

I have spent several days looking at Memory Care facilities and planning ahead.  It is horribly depressing. Then, on Wednesday evening I started coughing.  I pressed through Thursday and Friday at work but went to the doctor this morning to ensure that I still had two lungs in my chest.  He confirmed that I have Bronchitis and "a touch of Pneumonia".

How Ironic?  Was this sickness a self fulfilling prophecy or just a caregiver who works full time pressing too hard?  I think we know the answer.

The hard part of being sick is that my responsibilities with Gary do not stop.  I expressed to him that I am sick and need to rest.  He seems to understand to a point and keeps covering me up and touching me.  I am just trying NOT to breathe on him.

Today, through a series of odd events, I found a website for The Association of Frontotemporal Degeneration.  I read almost the whole site and found other blogs related.  I shared mine and we will see if it makes the publication.  All of a sudden, I have resources that understand exactly what Gary and I are going through with this evil disease. For anyone interested, the link is found here:http://www.theaftd.org/

Why 10,000?

I have only looked at two Memory Care facilities and I'm exhausted already.  Its probably just my attitude and I will work on that .....tomorrow.....tonight I am fighting a cough and cold.

Here is my dilemma, once Gary goes into a facility, I will be footing the bill by paying for the facility and dipping into savings.  I guess that is ok since we worked for savings our whole lives.  I should not expect help from anyone. 

So, for now, we are status quo.  We seem to be managing life now.....I am torn.  The doctors say I am providing great care for him.  He goes to day care, he has a caregiver and I take care of him at night.  He still knows me and I think he is safe.  Well, as safe as he will be anywhere.  If that changes or his condition changes, I will reevaluate.

He did scare me this morning.  When my alarm sounded to my usual "Jesus take the Wheel" alarm sound, I arise and go around the bed to see if he needs to use the bathroom.  Normally, we either go to the bathroom and then back to bed or he stays in bed while I go down and make coffee and get his morning pills.  He usually repeats whatever I say.

Today was different. As I stood next to the bed, he was staring through me and whispering numbers, in order.  I could not break his focus.  33, 34, 35, 36.......I talked to him, asked him questions and tried to get him to respond.  He continued counting through 100.  I wasn't sure what to do.  My thoughts went from "oh my, he just slipped to the next level" to "I'll just go downstairs and come back and he will be normal."  So, I went downstairs and came back in about 15 minutes.  He was still counting......he counted all the way through 3000 before I put him in the shower.  He counted (whispering still) through the shower.  Every time he was interrupted, he started back where he left off.

As we dressed and got in the car, he had reached 10,000.  At that point, he stopped. It was kind of like when Forrest Gump was running in the desert and just stopped.  For no particular reason, he was done.

We had George Strait on the media in the car and he sang "All my Exes live in Texas".  I did not know he knew the words.  Everyday is a new day.  Every night brings its challenges. 

All I can do is pray and trust that God's plan will lead us where we need to go in his time.  Prayers are appreciated.