Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Am I Doing enough?

Tonight I made the decision to not visit Gary and come straight home for a change.  I have parmesan pork chops in the oven, sautéed veggies in the pan and a glass of wine.  Pretty ideal circumstances, huh?

No way.

I don't know what to do with myself.  My eyes are tired from reading at work.  My arm hurts from typing and I want my husband back.

I talked to a dear friend today who is still struggling with finding her new normal after our college closed 1.5 years ago.  She liked her life and hasn't found the perfect fit yet.  Boy, do I feel her angst.  I get it, too. I liked my life, too.

What is my destiny?  Am I doing the right things?  I am doing fine at work ..... I can't share my success with Gary.  All I can do is pay his near $7000 per month invoice. 

When people ask me how I am doing, I answer "Okay."  That is what I feel.  Is that enough?

Life is pretty weird right now.  I know that God is in control but the human side of me wonders daily if I'm doing something wrong.  Am I doing enough? 

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