Thursday, September 22, 2016

Gary is feeding himself!

It has been reported by caregivers, that the last few days, Gary has mostly fed himself.  Messy though he is, he is feeding himself.  I am grateful that he is in a period of being independent. 

So, I struggle with when to visit him.  I slipped into a convenient pattern of going to visit during meals and feeding him.  It was easy to rationalize that I am helping him and then leaving immediately following the meals.  So, now that he is aware (I think) that I come to feed him, will he eat by himself with me there?  Do I need to change my schedule to not impede any progress he is making?  What will happen tomorrow?

I stopped by this morning on my way to work to take a waterproof pillow cover for the pillow for his wheelchair.  It is a great pillow full of foam and support.  I do not know from whence it came.  It just appeared. I can only assume it came from Hospice.  Anyway, it needed a waterproof cover in case of accidents.  So delivered.

While I was there, he was mumbling something.  I tried many times to clarify what he was saying.  No success.  So, as I was leaving, I told him I loved him and he broke into a response that only he and I share.  He was there.  He was present and his speech was very clear.  If the only times he is clear is when he is feeling love, I will take it.  I wish I could duplicate it all the time so he could live normally.

This is such a cruel disease.   He will never live normally and sometimes I think neither will I. 

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